Stephanie Ezeani
Relationships are never as easy as they seem. You see a couple holding hands and walking on the street or looking all cute on the ‘gram, and in your mind you’re saying Couple Goals, but you don’t know half of what goes on behind closed doors.
Relationships require work, lots of it, especially if you’re not with the right person.
So how do you know he’s the right person? Below, I’ve put together a list of things to look out for to know if you are actually NOT on the right track and you need to wake up and move on.
1. Your Partner isn’t always on the same page with you.
If he always disagrees with you or quarrels with you over something that can be easily resolved or if he doesn’t like coming to a mutual agreement on something but wants you to always accept whatever opinion he has, that is a major red flag.
This problem usually occurs when you rush into a relationship and you and your partner haven’t taken out time to understand each other.
2. You’re not able to be yourself around him
If you just start dating a guy and you feel like you can’t be so free, you mind the way you eat, talk or joke with him so he doesn’t get angry with you or if you feel like he’s judging you when you are being yourself, it’s a safe bet that he’s not the one. The right guy won’t ever judge you and you should be able to express yourself comfortably when you are with him. If Communication is frustrating, and feels unnatural, you should know there is a problem,
Conversation with someone you’re meant to be with should feel natural. It should be funny, and fun! If you feel like you and your partner have a ton of awkward silences where you’re combing your brain for ideas of things to talk about especially after the first couple of dates, which can always be awkward then maybe there is a problem.
3. You come up with excuses for his bad behavior.
‘Maybe he just installed tinder to chat with friends”
“The girl he was chatting calling in the middle of the night was just his sister’
If you are amongst those who keep saying:
“Well, he’s not that bad.”
“You just don’t see what I see in him”
You know the truth already, so stop deceiving yourself…stop pretending it’s not what it is.
4. He constantly lies to you
I know we all lie sometimes, but there are some guys who lie about everything about them, what they are doing and what they are not doing who they are with and who they are not with, if you figure out that he is in this category of guys, there is no need to try to change him, because it is just a waste of time, save yourself the stress and move on.
5. He clears his messages and call log
You are with a guy who clears his phone log and messages whenever you are around him, have you asked him what he is hiding, he may come up with various excuses, but that’s a clear sign he is hiding something from you, he probably has other romantic messages shared between him and other girls he doesn’t want you to stumble upon or doesn’t want you to know the other girls he has been calling also.
6. He has too many female friends and keeps up with them
He always want to check up on one friend in the middle of the night, claiming she is sick or his bestie from primary school he needs to call every night or his cousins friend he met sometime last year and wants to be the first to wish her a happy birthday or just has any particular close friend he is checking up on every night, you already know what he is up to.
7. He is too demanding yet reluctant to give
He always want you to cook for him or be ready to have sex with him anytime he feels like, or asks you for money for one thing or the other, you feel he is your partner and you can give to him whenever he needs but in your case he comes up with one excuse or the other and what makes it worse is if he doesn’t find it hard to give out to that his bestie that he calls at night. You already know there isn’t the need to waste your time.
8. He refuses to acknowledge your relationship in public
If he doesn’t feel the need to act like he is in a relationship with you when you both are in public, he doesn’t seem excited to introduce you to his friends. This is just a big red flag. Why doesn’t he want you to meet his friends?
Do you constantly feel like you need to drag him towards commitment?
Have a little pride and just walk away. At this point, it’s not a relationship; it’s a tug of war.
9. You feel a lot of anxiety when thinking about him
Anxiety in general is just an indicator that your mind isn’t comfortable with something. Some of us experience more anxiety than others, but if you are feeling above average amounts of anxiety about your guy (more than just first date jitters) then you should think about why you aren’t comfortable with him, and whether he is actually worth the stress.
10. You literally have to beg him to be affectionate with you
If you literally beg, plead, and cry for affection, this is one of the signs he’s not the one and it’s best to leave.
11. Thinking about a future together doesn’t excite you
If you’ve been dating for a while and you can’t see yourself together in a few years, then that’s pretty much a huge sign that you aren’t meant to be and it’s best to stop wasting your time and move on.
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