By popular demand, we recently launched our agony column 234Star Helpline where our in-house experts, with the help of our followers attempt to proffer the best solutions to relationship and sex questions sent in by readers.
This is the first entry!
Hello 234Star helpline,
I recently stumbled on the advert on your page and decided to write. I’ll probably regret writing this. There’s probably no answer you give me that’d get me out of this mess but don’t they say there is no harm in trying? July will make it five years that I have been married to my husband. He is a nice man. Respects me, loves our son, provides everything we need and all. We were happy, I was happy until David showed up. David is my husband’s friend who I didn’t really know so well because he didn’t stay in the country. But he recently moved back home in 2016 and has been a big part of our lives. One day, he visited when my husband wasn’t around and we spent time together, just talking. One thing led to the other and subsequently we started having sex and boy, it was the best sex I’ve ever had. I began to notice things my husband wasn’t doing right. He never went down on me for instance but David did and to say I felt good would be not saying enough. Our affair has been going on for about 9 months now and lately, I’ve been feeling guilty about it. As part of my new year resolutions, I decided to call it off but David doesn’t want it to end. He has sworn to tell my husband if I insist and I don’t know what to do. He has been sending me series of messages and just sent me a voice note swearing by his life to ruin my marriage. I can’t even cry. I can’t eat. I can’t do nothing.
Our Advice: Hello! If he’s threatening to expose your affair, it might make sense for you to confess to your husband before he does. Own up to your mistakes and if you feel like you’re not tired of the marriage, fight for a second chance and identify all the problems that made you look outside in the first place.