I am devastated right now, I’m depressed and I don’t know what to do, I feel so bad and I need ways I can deal with my ex because I can’t even think of committing suicide, it’s not possible. My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me last month, saying he can’t get married to me because he doesn’t see me as someone suitable for him. Can you imagine? After 4 years? We had a very good relationship, although he cheated on me sometimes, I still forgave him and we moved on.
The most painful thing about everything is that I’ve had 2 abortions for him, I regret it. The first one was done out of fear because I was still in school and didn’t have a choice, but the second one happened last year, I was happy when I found out I was pregnant for him, hoping we will make marriage plans but he said he isn’t ready and I should have an abortion. When I refused, he said I should never set my feet in his house and stopped talking to me, I had to grant his wish. Only for him to break up with me last month saying I’m not suitable for him and I realized he is getting married to a girl who he always said was “just his friend” when we were still dating.
I can’t even breathe properly, I’m in tears as I write this, I don’t feel normal, and I am thinking of the best thing to do. I don’t even know where to start my life from at this point, I don’t think I can ever trust any guy again. How can someone be this wicked, after all we had been through together? I tried reuniting us when he broke up with me, I didn’t know he had his other plans, but he can’t get away with using me, I really need help, I’m not myself right now.