234StarHelpline: My Wife’s Boss Is Spoiling Her With Expensive Gifts & I Don’t Know What To Do

I hear a lot of men say stuff like “I can’t cry because of a woman”, but that is because they’ve not been in my shoes. My heart is bitterly crying as I’m sharing this story with you.
My wife’s boss picks and drops her everyday to and from work. At first I thought it was a good idea because it will help reduce the cost of transportation and it was convenient for her, considering the fact that we’re not financially buoyant enough to afford a car. But things started to change later. Whenever i want to go on an outing with my wife, she refuses with the excuse that bikes are inconvenient for her and she can’t hustle to enter danfo buses. Knowing how fragile my wife is, I understood perfectly. But, as her boss continued to pick and drop her, I began to realise that whenever both of us were having a conversation, she always found a way to talk about her boss. It started becoming uncomfortable but I didn’t want to act like a “bitter husband” after all, he was just a lift. Then one day, a neighbour called me while I was at work that she saw my wife with a man at a supermarket. Through her description of the man, I knew it was my wife’s boss. This got me so furious. I left work early, took a bike to beat traffic but got home earlier than her. She came home around 10 PM grinning and carrying multiple shopping bags. She told me her boss bought “us” foodstuff. The smile I managed to crack crashed my ego. I willed myself to tell her that her boss was being unnecessarily too nice. This got her angry and she retorted telling me I was being jealous, I didn’t want her to be happy and I didn’t like good things.

In the past few weeks, my wife has been wearing expensive clothes and jewelries. Whenever I confront her, she tells me that her boss got them for her. She spends her weekend texting on Whatsapp and giggling. I don’t need King Solomon to rise and tell me something is wrong! I haven’t found an evidence of her cheating, but I know there is no smoke without fire.
Everybody I tell seem to think there’s no big deal in what she’s doing. And I’m being seen as a bitter husband but I love my wife so what can I do to stop her from receiving all those gifts from her boss and gain her attention again?

Our advice: It’s not technically cheating until you’ve caught her red handed in action or seen a text that confirms your fears. But sit down with her and talk to her nicely but firmly about how you feel. Try and make her see reasons why she needs to put your feelings into consideration and understand the effect her “friendship” with her boss is having on your relationship. If she’s the one for you, she’d listen and make amends, if she doesn’t, then maybe it’s time to actually start re-evaluating your relationship. In the meantime, get your hustle up and stay positive. All the best!

By popular demand, we recently launched our agony column 234Star Helpline where our in-house experts, with the help of our followers, attempt to proffer the best solutions to relationship and sex questions sent in by readers. Feel free to send us any question you might have via the email, [email protected].