We said ‘see ya’ to the month of July yesterday. Chisos! The 2nd half of the year is running off? Someone, please, help us hold our chests! The last few months have flown by so quickly.
With the year zooming by us, there are some things that need to stay right where they are. Whether it’s the double dose of confidence that BBN housemate, Tacha; uses to annoy us each week or the animals that will continue swallowing money in the not too distant future, etc.
With all the slowness and the beauty of June, a fresh new month is not a terrible idea at all. And these are the things that need to stay and die in July:
- Numero uno on the list will be that Ghana weaving thing that has fringes. We don’t even know if it has a name. We thought it died in 2014 or thereabout. But it’s like the braided wigs have made some girls remember that ugly thing at the bottom of their wardrobes. Babe, please, for the sake of our sanity, “forget it there!”
- Animals Swallowing Money: Really? Really? Nigeria, really? We haven’t faced enough public ridicule from the world. We are a hair’s breadth away from the 2020 period that promised electricity. Serious things are happening and you choose to whisper that public funds were swallowed by a Gorilla. The snake bit wasn’t theatrical enough? From July, nobody is allowed to blame animals for nada!
- Scratch cards or Paper recharge cards: Who remembers those times when you ‘over scratched’ a N1,500 MTN card in the hostel and all your roommates had to help you discover the missing numbers. “No, it’s not a 6, its a 5 o!” Mehn, you don’t understand pain till that has happened to you. These days, there are bank apps where you can easily buy your airtime. Or you can walk over to an ATM and recharge. Even service providers like MTN have *904#. They even offer 5% or 10% for recharging under N100 and above N500. It’s 2019, please stop buying paper recharge cards either! Enough said.
- Heels You Can’t Walk In:
How is this even a thing? Fashion is not a do-or-die affair. If you can’t walk in 7-inch heels, sister, why are you in those shoes?
It’s even a matter of survival. Why do we have to be subjected to the scary game of “will-she-fall-in-the-gutter-or-not?”. Babe, for the safety of our sanity, go down a few inches. For the safety of your life, come down!
That’s it for us as at now. What do you think? What else needs to disappear?