Chisimdi Nzotta
Yesterday, a video of a lady proposing to a man in a shopping mall and him turning the proposal down hit the internet and unsurprisingly, it has gone viral.
It got mixed reactions on social media with some especially the men, asking why she would propose to a man in Africa in the first place. Some were of the opinion that the man would have accepted the ring in the public to save her the shame.
Whatever you view is, here are some lessons from the drama:
Know Your Partner
Before you take any action that affects you both in a relationship, know the person you are involved with and what works for them. Are they quiet or reserved? Do they like public display of affection? Are they shy? Are they blunt? Do they always go to the point without mincing words? You should consider all these.
Importantly, find out what their ideologies are? For instance, if you are thinking about proposing to him as a lady, find out what he thinks about it. If he holds the view that a woman should never propose to a man, baby girl, there is no way he is saying yes.
If You Can’t Handle Rejection, Avoid Public Proposal
Sometimes you are so overwhelmed by the love and you want to have a public display of the affection so everyone can share the big moment with you. If your partner doesn’t think otherwise, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It is beautiful to having people awwwwing and holding up cameras and clapping as you do down on your knee and present the ring to the love of your life. Even when the moment is gone, remembering it returns the smiles to your face.
However, because the person you want to propose to has a will of their own and can decide to or not to accept, if you can’t handle rejection well, please do something private. If you can’t hear a “no” without wanting to jump into the nearest ocean or feeling bad about it for the rest of your life, don’t. I repeat do not. When it comes to proposals, don’t even say the word public. If he/she says no when you are alone, it would be easier for you to get over it than when the whole world is watching
Snoop On Your Partner
Rumor has it that the man from the proposal-gone-wrong video is married. Whether it is true or not, learn to be very smart in your relationship. Read between the lines and be observant. Does your partner call you your name today and a wrong one tomorrow? Does he/she disappear sometimes with no tangible explanation? Does your partner reject some phone calls when he/she is with you? Are their messages and conversations deleted? Is there an ‘edible catering’ that calls at odd hours?
Check your partner’s phone. Find out if he/she has social media accounts you don’t know of. Don’t drop your guard especially when you just began dating. Saves you the pain of finding out after you have completely trusted. Do some underground investigations. Who knows, you might be so good the FBI will hire you!
Plan
From the video, the proposal was not well planned as she was even asking people in the mall if they have seen him. Always plan well before you take any action in your relationship. Think very well about the action you are about to take. If it doesn’t go well what next? What’s the plan B, C, D, E…? Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
If it’s a proposal, know what a ‘no’ can ruin the relationship. Are you ready for that?
Hope For The Best But Expect The Worst
When he turned her down, she wailed and cried like her world has ended. We can only assume she never expected a no. It’s great to be optimistic but put it somewhere in your mind that the worst could happen. Hope for the best and expect the worst so when the bad news hits you, it will be easier for you to handle.
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