Most people want a partner who’s attentive, caring, and, if you’re looking for an exclusive relationship, actually committed.
But sometimes, especially if you follow the advice of many movies that teach you to admire grand romantic gestures, your potential partner’s behavior could be covering up some serious flaws.
Here are 5 romantic gestures that are actually big red flags.
1. They profess their love very early on
If you’ve ever been with a partner who couldn’t express their feelings even after six months of dating, meeting someone who announces, “I love you!” quickly and confidently can feel like a blessing.
But it all depends on how they say it. It’s normal to feel infatuated very quickly if you really like someone, but if a person says something as huge as, “I’m completely in love with you,” or, “I know you’re my soul mate and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” only a few weeks into dating, you should take a few steps back.
2. They overshare on the first date
It’s easy to think that someone who reveals a lot on a first date immediately feels connected to you particularly when they go into detail about their childhood or family, which shows they’re not afraid to open up a little. However, be cautious if the conversation turns to past relationships.
If an ex comes up naturally in the context of a story about a trip they took together, that’s one thing. But if they ramble about their past dating experiences or verbally rip apart people they’ve been with, they may not be in the right place to start a new relationship.
3. They chat to you nonstop
When you first hit it off with someone, it’s perfectly natural to text and talk a lot. It’s certainly more romantic than that guy who takes four days just to text back “lol.” But overdoing it on the meme-sending can be a bad sign.
They may simply attach to romantic partners quickly and be unaware that the amount of communication is overwhelming particularly if they respond to your request for a little space with anger, or by making you feel guilty.
4. They want to spend all of their time with you
Theoretically, “I just can’t get enough of you!” sounds flattering as heck, because yes, you are in fact an awesome human to be around. But if your new boo wants to come over to your place every night even when you make it clear that you’re working or with friends or just want a night to yourself watch out.
Requests for more quality time together can become toxic and unhealthy when you feel pressured or are actively made to feel guilty for wanting to spend time on interests or with people other than your partner.
5. They’re very protective of you
“I love you too much to imagine you with anyone else!” may sound sweet at first, but often, it can cloak a very unhealthy form of jealousy.
Jealousy is a normal response to a real threat to the relationship. But if you find yourself having to defend completely innocent behavior, or with a partner who insistent on prying into your phone or social media accounts in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable and isn’t reciprocated, there are definite red flags.