Chisimdi Nzotta
“The pain is going to be so severe it will hit your soul. There will be so much blood you both will be swimming in it…” You must have been hearing things along these lines a lot. Know this, first sex or last sex, it’s quite different for everybody. Some women do not bleed during their first time. Some others bleed even up to the second and third time. Some feel very little pain, while for many others, the pain is intense. Everyone’s body is unique.
If you haven’t had sex yet and you are reading this, it’s your lucky day today. Here are five important things you should know before it goes down:
1. Be sure you are sure
Sex is a big deal, especially the first. Before you do it, make sure it’s what you want. Be sure you are doing it because you want to not because you are afraid of losing him or he says he will always cherish you if you do it or because all your friends are sexually active and you feel odd, not even because you are married. Spread your legs and have a man slide his dick and fill you up because that’s what you really want. There are no rules whatsoever. No age is too late either. If you want to do it after you are married, it is absolutely beautiful. Be doubly sure you are sure so you don’t regret it.
You can’t have your first time sex twice, always remember.
2. Know your body
Explore your body and know what turns you on and what doesn’t. Do you like your nipples bitten or robbed? Do you like your neck kissed and your ear lobes sucked or not? Explore your body and know what works so you won’t be completely clueless.
3. What are your expectations
What are your expectations after you have your first sex or as some people will say, ‘lose your virginity’? You hear some ladies go ‘I gave him my virginity and he dumped me’. I think the problem in this situation is their expectations. Don’t have your first time sex and expect that will make him never leave you. Don’t use it as an emotional blackmail tool either. The man you had sex with for the first time owes you nothing. It happened because you let it, it takes two to tango remember?
4. Lubricants, lots of it
Your vagina will be very tight because it hasn’t been in use sexually. If your hymen is still intact and hasn’t been previously broken by vigorous activities you engaged in in the past or any other reason, the hole will even be smaller.
Penetration in this case will be painful, very. The vagina needs to be very wet to aid an easy passage of the penis. Chances are you won’t be wet enough because you are nervous and not relaxed. Even if you are wet enough, in first time sex, no wetness is too much.
Buy a sex lubricant and apply lots of it on his penis and let him apply on your vagina, generously. Makes the ride smoother.
5. It’s your body and yours alone
Baby girl, those legs, thighs, boobs and all your beautiful body came with are yours, alone. Do not do anything you don’t want to. Don’t do anal if you don’t want to. Don’t let him finger you if you don’t want to. Anything at all you aren’t comfortable with is fine, in time you may want it but till then, don’t.
If you want to stop at any point, just say so. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s your body, all yours. If it wasn’t as awesome as you imagined, don’t beat yourself about it. The first time isn’t always the best time and there can always be a second, third, seventeenth, hundredth… time.
Always remember though, if you aren’t ready to pop that cherry, don’t. You’re welcome!
This would really help me in future..Thanks for the guideline