Here Are 3 Ways to Make $170.4 Million From Your Nude Pictures

So last night, this painting by early 20th century artist Amedeo Modigliani sold for $170.4 million, and I’m sure our minds are still reeling from the amount it cost.

You’re probably thinking, “It’s just a photo of a naked woman, what’s so damn special about it….I look better in nudes” etc. and you’re probably right.

However, unlike you, the lady in the painting used her nudity for ‘a high artistic’ purpose, which just made some fella very very very rich. But I’m not here to shade girls who share nudes, free-giving is also some sort of higher calling after all, even if you don’t get rich from it. Or maybe you do, but that’s not the point of this post.

The point is that apparently, paintings cost a shitload of money, even the ‘x-rated’ ones. And because I care, here are 3 ways to make your nudes profitable.

• Use a good camera – To make money from your nudes, it’s important you use a good camera. A bad camera can make you look fat, ugly or even give you stretch marks, and no one wants to pay for a bad photo.

• Good angles and lighting – Now, because some of you want to remain anonymous, they take the photos with bad lighting, to hide their face, or from really bad angles, which just ruins everything. See the lady in the painting, she totally owned her nudity, no hiding, and even if you’re hell bent on remaining anonymous, to add a little mystery maybe, the use your angles and lighting very well.

• Exclusive premiere – Now, if you want to reap the fruit of all your labour, then it is important that you don’t share your nudes on social, this is high art for Pete’s sake. You should choose your client or recipient (if you want to be generous) carefully, and share. Who knows, in another century, your nude might just be worth as much as Amedeo Modigliani‘s.

Or you could just let a renowned artist paint you. Bottom line, “don’t be a waste” in Chigul’s voice.