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How To Get Over A Guy Who Shagged You And Ghosted

He won’t take your calls after that hot steamy session? You don’t know how to face him? You can’t forgive yourself for sleeping with him? Or was it just a kiss? Or something, anything at all that you feel you shouldn’t have done? Get over here. This is for you. Now clean your eyes and read this very sllooowwwwlllyyyy. It’s your fault. Yes, it is. Now, if I had written this sometime before last weekend, I would have said; ‘Baby girl, don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault.’ but this weekend, I read Jack Canfield’s book ‘The Success Principals’ and the very first chapter says; “Take 100% responsibility of your life.” I’m telling you the same thing right now.

  • Responsibility; take it

It may not have been exactly the way you planned it. Your intentions of going there or inviting him over might not have been to get laid or do something you’ll regret later but it happened anyway and you are to blame. You let it happen. You could have said No. You shouldn’t have put yourself in that situation in the first place. You knew this could happen but you threw your reasoning into the air and took the chance anyway. You probably wore a sexy pair of lingerie just in case! Or maybe applied more cologne and made your lips gloss a little shinier. Subconsciously, you had prepared for it.

This doesn’t say regret and continue your pity party. Or dig a really deep hole, bury yourself inside and have a nice rest. It says take responsibility which is different from regret. Understand, realise, acknowledge, believe, agree, know that you let it happen.

  •  Replay

All you want right now more than anything is to stop thinking about it. To rip out pages of your memory. To black out. You probably can’t concentrate on your daily activities as the memories keep coming back and you try to shut it out as fast as it come. Stop. Let it. Take it in. Go somewhere calm. Replay. Rechew. Rewind. From the point where you shared that slow, wet, sensual, almost mind shattering lip locking session to the point you wore your cloth back on. Everything.

  •  Realise

Realise it has happened. There is nothing you can do about it. What next? You have crossed the line and there is no going back. There’s actually no where to go back to. This is the point of no return. Would you rather get over it and move on with your life or keep crying over something you can do nothing about; spilled milk?

  • Relax

Now that you have understood you are responsible for your actions, rewound the details of what happened and realised there is nothing you can do about it, it’s time for you to relax. Give yourself a break baby girl. It’s not the end of the world. He might have forgotten how it went down or maybe not. In any case, forgive yourself. Move on. You are never going to let it happen again and that’s something!

Written by Chisimdi Nzotta

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