As we all are humans and this is life, it isn’t everything that will go as planned. Sometimes it begins alright, sails smoothly and just when you want to be happy and make merry, it blows up in your face, at the very last minute.
However. it doesn’t matter that things didn’t go as you planned, it doesn’t matter that you didn’t clear your papers in school, it doesn’t matter that you lost your job, it doesn’t matter that you made a grave mistake and now everyone thinks little of you, it doesn’t matter that you are unemployed and living off other people, it does not matter that you have fallen. What matters is what you do next; do you remain fallen or do you get up and try again?
If you made the right choice to get up, these five tips are for you:
1. Accept it
Don’t be in denial. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen. Don’t bury it and say, ‘I have moved on’. Accept it, that you fell. That you couldn’t do it, that you are not where you should be, that you made a wrong choice of partner, that you didn’t take advice and what you were warned about happened… .
Acceptance is one of the ways to solve a problem. It’s only when you accept there is a problem in the first place that you will think of how to solve it.
2. Don’t focus on the past
After you have accepted that the relationship you put so much into didn’t work, you couldn’t be there for your family when they needed you most, your life is falling apart, or whatever it was that you didn’t succeed in, it’s time to move on. Realise that it has happened and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the past. The only thing you can do is try to make it not happen again and that too isn’t guaranteed. Forgive yourself and move on. Keep moving.
3. Learn from people that have been there
Look up people who have walked the path and succeded. How did she get such a beautiful marriage after so many breakups? How has her business boomed again despite being a failure in the past? How have they managed to train that once stubborn child of theirs? How did they move out of their parents’ house and become so comfortable? How did they rise after falling?
I don’t know if there is anything you have gone through or are going through that someone hasn’t gone through in the past. Even if you don’t meet someone who has gone through it personally, check the internet, read books and ask questions.
4. Get help if you can’t do it alone
If you have accepted you fell, tried to move on and learn from other people and it didn’t help, you probably need help. Don’t be ashamed to ask for it. Talk to someone responsible about what you are going through. Talking to a therapist would be great. Sometimes, all you need is to let it out.
5. Try again
Yes, try again. Falling doesn’t mean you should remain down. Try it yet again. Look out for what you were doing wrong from the past and use a different strategy. Put what you learned from people who have been there into practice. Better their strategy and put it to use.
If after all these you still fall, try again and again and again till you get it right. It is possible!