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“Please Come Over And Keep Me Company” Is What He Said

So guys, I was on my own jeje when a call came in.

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Ewure: hi babe
Me: Hi what’s up?
Ewure: what are you doing today?
Me: Nothing for now, why?
Ewure: Please come over and keep me company
Me: err I really don’t know (bear in mind me and Ewure only talk once a while)
Ewure: I’ll pay for the taxi to and fro
Me: errr I still don’t know
Ewure: (knowing he can’t be trusted) you can come along with a friend
Me:(*says to self* it can’t be that bad) ok no problem. I’m coming with a friend

*Ends call*

I pick up my phone and call my best girl like, “Hey gurrllllll, we have waka” and she sighs, “which dead movement have you brought again?”

I insist this is an “alive” movement and she agrees to come with.

I shower, dress up and take a taxi, first to pick up friend and then to some Mowe sounding place.

We get there and first there’s no light neither is there food. Ewure then goes “oh what’s up, if you want to eat, you have to go to the Mr Biggs down the road and get meat pie”

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At first I think he’s joking but best believe we left that place with not as much as even water to drink.

Guys, did I mention that he kept hankering on me being there at a specific time or there will be no point? Naive little angel baby girl like me, what did I know?

So Ewure is there with me and best friend and we’re discussing the illuminati. I’m furious because he refuses to tell me those he knows are in the illuminati.

Lmao! Best believe I took that illuminati list very personally.

“Please come” Ewure beckons and me I thought he was about to give the exclusive illuminati list. He calls me into a scattered/abandoned/smelly room and asks that we get down to business. “Sorry what business?” Was my question and he goes “You know why you’re here”

sex confused girl

Mogbe! I’m in trouble. Keeping a straight face I say, “Sorry, you called me here to keep you company and not have sex…. I’m a virgin BTW”

Furious at this time, he asks, “What do you mean by you’re a virgin”

???????????? see question o, on top my own virginity again, msheeeew!

I storm out of the room and tell my friend “we’re leaving” She asks why and I go “can you imagine, he wants to have sex with me, like that’s why he brought me here”

She’s obviously surprised and says “Oh so this is what he meant by keep him company”

We’re leaving but the doors are locked so I ask him for the keys. Ewure is busy behaving like a slow worm so I shout “Where’s the key?”
He gets the keys and just hands them to my friend. We unlock the door and I slam the door as hard as I can because with Jackie Chan as my friend, I can’t be scared.

Anyways he already gave me the cab fare when we initially got there. So we take a cab and head on home.

Moral of the story: Men are scum.

Written by Onyinye Nnedolisa

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