Annie Shaka
The worst part about break-ups is the process of breaking up. There’s this belief that the person who initiates the conversation inevitably becomes the bad guy, and nobody wants to be the bad guy.
But when a relationship has reached its natural end, at least for one of the parties involved, the conversation needs to happen. Here are five tips to help you make a clean break without earning yourself a vengeful ex who’s now bent on tormenting you.
Don’t Disappear
This is the most commonly abused break-up technique. It is erasing yourself from a person’s life without explanation or closure. It is also childish and immature. Especially since it’ll leave that person with questions only you have answers to and feelings of self-doubt. Ghosting a partner you once cared for because you can’t bring yourself to stick a pin in the relationship face to face is wrong.
Don’t Do It Through Text.
Ah, this classic break-up move. We’ve all sent that weird, vague text that usually ends with “we should just be friends” to someone we were dating. It’s quick and straight to the point. To many people, this option shows you’re spineless and do not care enough to discuss in person. Sometimes this method is preferable when dealing with someone with a violent history. A clean break and limited information could save you a lot of trouble.
Don’t Use Cliche Lines.
We’ve heard these lines countless times. “it’s not you, it’s me.” “I want to focus on myself.” “We can still be friends.” The list of tired cliche break-up lines is endless. It comes off a little patronizing to the person on the receiving end when you are too busy trying to let them down gently to be truthful instead.
Don’t Pass The Buck
It takes a skilled manipulative person to pull this one-off. They structure the break-up in a way that places the responsibility of ending the relationship on you. They let you initiate it and think it’s something you’ve wanted all along. Some people take it up another notch by acting awful towards you, so you’ll have no choice but to call it quits.
Do it in person
A face-to-face conversation is the proper way to go. Remember you’re dealing with a person you’ve spent a considerable amount of time with, grown attached to and shared experiences with. Out of respect for what you once had, it is only fair to initiate the dreaded conversation in person. This way, you both navigate through it together, mark boundaries, and move on respectfully.
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