Dear Daughter, You Do Not Have To Go Through The “Hoe Phase”!

Dear Daughter,

It’s been a minute since we had our heart-to-heart chats. (Life has been happening and I’ll tell you all about it someday) But, I was scouring the Internet the other day when I stumbled upon an article on BN about something called The Hoe Phase and I knew we were due for another chat. This time however, the imaginary conversations that mostly go on in my head wouldn’t do so I decided to pen you a letter instead.

Oh I know you’re wondering what this Hoe Phase thing is and why it warranted a whole letter. Well, here is a definition I found on Urban Dictionary: it is “a phase in your life that occurs frequently when you are fine with exploring promiscuous activities and connecting with random people.”

You see, prior to that day, I didn’t know that was a thing – not what it represents but the name itself. But apparently it is, and there are people like the author of that article, who believe and even strongly advice that everyone should go through this phase before they finally “settle down”.

Well I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to. Listen, you do not have to go through this “hoe phase” or whatever name they might coin for it in the future.

In a world that continually invents new ways to glamourize immorality, may you not be caught up in the wave.

And hoe isn’t life – no matter the number of times you see the hashtags that suggest otherwise.

You’ll be made to feel different for not subscribing to the popular lifestyle; you’ll be described with a few uncool phrases. But I do hope that you learn to embrace your “different”. I hope you realize that the term “nice Christian girl” isn’t a bad thing, and that there is nothing wrong with being called a good girl.

May you find that there are a thousand and one ways to enjoy life that don’t necessarily involve one-night stands or kissing strangers.

Someday, a nice gentleman will come along who will worship the very ground you walk on – or maybe not, but regardless, I hope you understand that marriage and a man’s love doesn’t validate you. You owe it to yourself to love you.

I hope you find friends who share the same values with you, but most importantly I hope you stay true to yourself whether or not you do.

Live life ferociously without feeling like you owe anyone an apology for your moral values. Be you, be unapologetically you. And you might not make sense to a lot of people but you will to the ONE who matters the most.

I’ll be rooting for you, forever. Now hurry and get here!

With all my love,

Mummy.