Two nights ago, Irose and Olivia, two “friends” who fell apart, decided to air their disgustingly dirty laundry on Twitter. The whole situation was as entertaining as it was disturbing – even more so because these two who were throwing this amount of dirt at each other in front of a cheering crowd, had at some point, referred to each other as “friend”.
Irose and Olivia managed to take the term “fake friends” to a whole other level that night but it’s really nothing new. Most, if not all of us have had (still have) an Irose and Olivia in our lives.
If you’re yet to identify these enemies posing as friends in your life, here are some traits you should be looking out for.
They’re usually the first to call when misfortune strikes and the last when something good happens to you.
Watch out for these ones. They’re the first on the scene when you’ve either lost a job, a boyfriend or whatever – some times they’re even there before you get the news and you’re thinking, “oh, she’s always there for me.” Lies! She’s only there to get the full gist – if she didn’t orchestrate that misfortune, that is.
They talk shit about everyone else.
If they never have anything good to say about every Tife, Amina and Chidera when they’re with you, chances are, they are also not saying anything good about you to other people. Stay woke.
They’re suddenly best buds with your ex
She’ll badmouth your man, tell you he’s not good enough for you but when y’all break up, she suddenly becomes BFFs with him. See, I don’t care how grownup y’all think you are, but your friend hanging out with your ex is a NO NO.
They’re emotional blackmailers
Sometimes they’re coy about it, other times, not so much but a fake friend is usually a good emotional blackmailer and guilt tripper. They always want to have their way at your own inconvenience and when you protest, they remind you of all the faux sacrifices they made for you.
They’re super curious about you and your family
Irose and Olivia will want to know every single thing about you, your family and your ancestors. You take them to the village and they become friends with your cousins, aunties and uncles. While this may come across as cute, it’s usually a ploy to get more information and stocking up their arsenal in preparation for the day shit officially hits the fan.