What I Told My Daughter When She Fell In Love

As I sat listening to my 17-year-old daughter talk about her growing affection for her dear friend, it was all I could do to not let my amusement show.

I sat there straight-faced and encouraged her to go on talking, and so on and on she went about how perfect he was, how she was slowly falling for him and was dying to get out of the ‘friend zone’.

She described his eyes as mesmerising, his voice as the most calming thing and his face, the most handsome she’d ever laid eyes on.

I watched her innocent face change expressions and thought of how very sweet and pure she was, my pretty little princess.

She told me almost everything so I knew for a fact it was her first time falling in ‘love’.

Would hate to ruin it for her, I thought, remembering my first experience with the emotion.

I’d started out about a year or so before her, and the experience hadn’t been as oh-so-perfect as the romantic novels I’d devoured had made me believe.

I got bored after two months of ‘I love yous’ and fumbling kisses, swearing to stay away from the male species for the rest of my life as romance was a bit too silly for my tastes.

Better to channel all that energy into studying and making good grades, I’d told myself.

By my second year in the University, I knew that was a promise I wouldn’t be keeping for long when I met Hakeem, the man that changed my life forever, the one that taught me the pain and heartache of believing so much in a person.

Oh, how foolish I’d been. I’d been lied to, humiliated and manipulated over and over again without even being aware of it.

My naivete had been so palpable, it was no wonder Hakeem had chosen me. I’d blindly followed him about like the little fool while he paraded female ‘friends’ around town like the philanderer he’d turned out to be.

A few years after I managed to get over the experience and my fear of men, I finally started believing again that there were indeed still good people out there.

Thankfully, I married one of them. I smiled at the thought of my wonderful husband and the amazing kids he gave me.

‘Earth to mother,’ my first daughter gently said, snapping her delicate fingers in my face as she called me back to reality.

I blinked several times and snapped out of it.

‘Oh honey, I don’t even know what to say to you,’ I started as she watched me attentively.

‘Love is a beautiful feeling, my baby girl. Allow yourself to love freely and wholeheartedly, but learn to give your heart only to those who deserve it.

‘As much as I’d love to protect you and keep you safe from bad people, I know that growing up is inevitable and one can never be too careful when it comes to love, but please, learn to love yourself fiercely, passionately and as much as you’d like to be loved.

‘Never ever depend on any man’s love to complete you because you are whole, you are beautiful and most certainly good enough for anyone. Remember that, my darling.

‘Also, that your dad and I will always be here for you, always.’ I finished, drawing her in for a tight hug, as her beautiful eyes were already shining suspiciously too brightly.

‘Oh mom, you’re the best. I couldn’t have asked for a better mother,’ she said grinning sweetly at me.

‘And I couldn’t have asked for a wiser, more intelligent and beautiful first born,’ I said, smiling back at her and ruffling her hair affectionately.