Onyinye Nnedolisa
Most women won’t admit they’ll sleep with men for money and it’s totally fine and understandable considering how judgemental our society can be. But there are those who have no qualms whatsoever with it and my roommate is one of those people.
So we’re hanging out at 355 Restaurant a few months back doing cocktails, talking business, work and lots of other stuff when suddenly in the middle of our conversation, Roomie goes silent with her gaze fixated at the restaurant’s entrance. I turn around to see what the cause of this sudden speechlessness is and lo and behold it was Vin Diesel (ok not exactly, more like a random bald man).
Our first thoughts are, “He’s fine, bald, nicely dressed and must have money” (We were wrong about the money part.)
Never one to miss out on an opportunity, Roomie does her thing, gets noticed by Vin Diesel and they exchange numbers.
“I found a money bag!” she kept singing as we made our way home.
But all that changed when she went to his house in Obalende/Ikoyi (he kept saying Ikoyi but it’s actually some nice place in Obalende).
She would later tell me: “We’re having a conversation and I find out he’s a divorcée who wants a relationship but is not interested in “taking care” of his woman. Red Flag Alert! and I end things before they even start. All I really want is an “osisi n’ami ego” (Igbo rich man title which means a tree that produces money) generous type of older man and not a time-waster.”
LOL I ask her what her definition of a time-waster is and she goes, “those who want the juice but don’t want to pay for it.
As it turns out, this fear of time-wasting sugar daddies is a major concern for most Lagos girls. I got talking with a few of my friends who swear they’ve mastered the art of spotting time-wasters and here’s what they had to say:
Isymoney:
In my experience, the SDs who talk too much are the most useless of them all.All they have to offer is deadass gist and never money.
Derin:
See! If the cab money is as slim as a sheet of A4 paper, I know he’s unserious. Beware, For they lurk these streets, ladies!
Jyoti:
I honestly can’t relate to this as all the SDs I’ve ever met are willing to spend money on me. Wait, you mean there are SDs who are aren’t willing to spend money for the love of pum? Weird!
Kiran:
Beware of the SD who wants to negotiate the price of your pum, SDs who also want to pay in Installments should be avoided. When those conversations come up, I already know it’s a useless venture.
Kewe:
The talkatives are the absolute worst. They have nothing to offer. Major red flag for me!
Bimbee:
The “prospective” SDs who take your number and never call are super annoying. Like, why get me excited and leave me hanging? I don’t know if this applies but I totally hate those ones. I mean I already bought a couple of things with the money they were supposed to give me????????
Odera:
I had one tell me “I only buy my things when I go abroad, I don’t shop in Nigeria” when I asked for the Amouage Interlude perfume. Yeah that pretty much did it for me.
LOL! So, if money is what you want from an older man, it’s important that you look out for these red flags –
-Does he talk extensively about his wealth?
-Does he never offer to pay for your ride?
-Does he never ask what he can do to make you happy when you’re sad?
-Does he say “Pele” often?
-Does he give stagnant 5k as cab money every time you see him?
-Does his mouth smell?
-Does he demand for a million and one sexual positions?
-Is he younger than 45?(usually very useless)
-Does he complain when you ask for money?
-Does he expect you to understand when he goes broke?
-Does he argue about what and what not you deserve?
-Are his boxers torn?(you won’t understand)
-Is he mannerless, will he just cancel a hook up?
Major ????: If he does three or move of the above, please and please, discard him!
I’m sure there’s a lot more than I have on my list so do share your tips on spotting time-wasting SDs so as to help the Sugar Babies community move forward.
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