Sex Can Make You Say The Darnest Things! Read ‘Very Delicious, Very Sumptuous’ to See How

It was a Tuesday evening and I didn’t want to go to the house. I couldn’t exactly make up my mind why I was feeling this way – whether it was because it didn’t feel like home or there had been no light for over three weeks and the heat was epic. Either ways, I needed a good excuse to stay longer hours at work that day.

I had even contemplated watching a movie by myself but I’m one of those that believe cinemas are a waste of money if you’re more than 10 in the room. Why should I pay N1500 to watch a movie and be interrupted by people who don’t know the difference between a cinema room and UNILAG’s main auditorium?

Sorry to digress.

I finally decided to go to the house and get a shawarma on my way. That would take a little more time. I was going to walk instead of taking a cab too. Hopefully, everyone would have slept by the time I got to the house.

I got to the Shawarma joint and settled in a plastic chair outside. As I was about to go through Instagram, Mr. Oga called.

“How are you?”

“I’m good. You?”

“I’m good too.” Then he paused and said, “you sound funny. Are you okay?”

I wasn’t okay. I was bored and I needed to talk to someone, play, have fun but here I was in this rigid life. Mr. Oga and I had spoken about this some weeks ago and we planned to chill every evening since there was a N50 distance between our offices. Sadly, our paths never crossed in the evenings because one of us (obviously not me) was too busy.

“I’m fine.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at my Shawarma guy’s place.”

“Should I come over?”

“If you want. It’s your car.”

“It’s my car? What’s the meaning of that?”

“Isn’t it your car Bruv? Are you coming or…”

“Seen you.”

I watched him as he parked his car and waited for me with his engine still on. He noticed how I dragged to get up and pay the Shawarma guy so he switched off his engine and came down from his car. Then he did something that totally melted all my apprehension.

He ran across the road with the most heartfelt smile, hugged me so tightly and carried me up at the same time. I’m so not a romantic person but there was something about that gesture that made the butterflies in my belly tickle.

“I missed you! Why are you so stubborn?”, he said.

I muffled “I’m sorry” as I kept grinning like a drunk baby.

He took my bags without asking and held my hand as we crossed the road quickly. He dropped my bags on the back seat, slipped in the driver’s seat and hugged me again. He felt so warm even with the AC on.

“Thank God I called. That’s how you would have passed my office without me knowing.”

“You’re not serious. Aren’t you the busy one?”

“Babe it’s not like that now. I explained this to you…”

As he explained what was up at work, he tilted over my seat to recline the seat so I could rest my back properly. His face brushed my breast and one word flashed in my head.

Sex.

I shook my head to drive the thought away but that was just the beginning.

Then he asked, “should I take you home now?” Remembering the heat, I said no. So we parked in darkness some meters away from the house so we could chill and talk.

“So what have you been up to?”

“Same old stuff jore”, I replied.

Detecting that this chill time was starting to sound like another dead BBM conversation, I quickly added, “Have you listened to Rihanna’s album?”at the same time typing in ANTI in my music library. I chose Consideration first.

He liked it. I could tell because he kept nodding and making hand gestures with his eyes closed like he was in some trance.

“Let’s play truth or dare”, he said suddenly.

I laughed. “Alright. You go first.

“Truth or dare?”

I chose truth.

“Tell me your deepest secrets.”

I laughed. “Sorry Bruh. That’s too deep. Ask me something else”.

“Have you thought about having sex with me?”

“Yes.” “Ok, my turn. Same question”.

“Yes.”

We asked each other some more stupid questions about the last time we had mind blowing sex and the reasons we broke up with our exes before admitting that the truth game was boring. So we opted for Dare.

Him: “I dare you to go in front of that car with the man in it and dance for him.”

Me: “I dare you to walk up to that woman and talk to her like you know her.”

Him: “I dare you to kiss my windscreen like you were kissing a guy.”

Me: “I dare you to play with your nipples.”

Him: “I dare you to suck my nipples.”

Me: “Ok! I wasn’t expecting that.”

I had a problem with doing this for 2 reasons:

1. When it came to pleasuring, I had a policy that states that any thing worth doing is worth doing well, meaning he was going to like what I was going to do and it was going to complicate things for me as I was nurturing my celibacy pledge.

2. Mr. Oga was really dull, I mean in terms of elevated verbal and written communication.

Honestly. You know these people that look so good and hot on the outside but once they open their mouths to start talking ‘sense’, you’ll wonder who went wrong, parents or teachers.

While I was still contemplating on whether or not to get too deep into this game, Uncle had already began adjusting his shirt, carefully lifting it up for me to see his firm, toned abs covered with beautiful, hairless skin.

Sighs.

I couldn’t help it. I chose body over communication. So I took his tiny shy nipples in my mouth and made him happy. How I knew? He kept moaning like a girl at the beginning of a head session.

Then he said the most awful thing… “Baby, you’re delicious.”

I stopped abruptly, sat back and said “ok. I think it’s time I head home. They will soon lock my gate.”

“Ah yes.”, he said as he fixed his shirt. We talked about the light situation in Lagos till we got to the front of my gate. I came down, waved at him and walked into the house. That night, I slept off telling myself all men can’t be perfect and my standards were too high.

Two weeks later I saw Mr. Oga again but this time it was at his office. When I teased about him not coming to pick me at work, he gave me a long explanation on how he had little fuel left thanks to the scarcity in Lagos and he didn’t want to risk getting stuck in traffic.

It was some minutes to 10 pm and no one except the gatemen were around, hence there was no use going into his office. So we went to the back of the building where his car was parked and chose to lean on the car since we couldn’t even switch on the AC.

Gradually, we moved closer to each other with excuses…

“Let’s see how tall you are sef.”

“Been a while I hugged you.”

“I’m serious. I can carry you.”

Then he said, “Babe, you’re so soft.”

I chuckled before I replied, “I know. I get that all the time.”

I was in love with this man’s body. He was just the right height; every part of his body felt so firm and masculine. I just wanted to lick him. I kept hugging him, grinding my body on his…

“You know you have a really nice body right?”

He laughed, “thank you. I don’t even get to work out again sef.”

I really can’t remember what we said after, I just know we started to kiss.

On all levels, it was the best I had in years. It wasn’t sloppy or obligatory. It was very mutual. It was the kind that involved the grabbing of bums and breasts; the type that causes you to want to dig your nails into a back. It was that great.

I stopped to catch my breath.

“Why are you smiling like that?” He asked.

“Been a while.” I chuckled.

“Give me your tongue.” He said.

“I’m not so good with the tongue.” I said.

“Just follow my lead.” He said.

So I gave him my tongue, all of my tongue. I don’t know how we got on his bonnet but we got on his bonnet. He turned me over and I could feel him reaching for Little Mr. Oga, so I quickly got up.

“I should go home now.”

“When am I seeing you again? When are we doing this again?”, he asked while he kept kissing me.

“I don’t know. You know I’m celibate right?”

“Since when?”

“But I told you now. We’ve spoken about this before.”

“I can’t remember o. Why?”

“I think sex is a waste of time if there’s nothing more than sex. We hit it then what? Plus I really wasn’t getting it good so what’s the point?”

“You’ll like what I’ll do to you. I’m not even joking.”

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“Seriously, when am I seeing you again?”

“You know if we keep doing this, I could like you very much and become possessive?”

Mr. Oga sighed.

“I like you too. The thing is I’ve been in so many bad relationships. I told you I proposed to someone last year?”

“Yes, you did. Let’s talk about this on my way home.”

“Oh true.”

We got in his car and we headed to the house but we didn’t talk.

“Call me when you get home.”

“I will”, he said with the most charming smile ever on his face.

He called that night to tell me he was home.

The next day I called to check on him but he didn’t pick up. I called that weekend too and the same thing happened. So I stopped calling.

I changed my Whatsapp profile a week later then he sent a message saying I looked pretty. I said thanks and that was that.

Honestly, I was sad that I couldn’t kiss him again but I was innately glad that I didn’t have to hear “Baby, you are delicious” for a while.

This post first appeared on hivesandotherdrugs.com