It doesn’t happen every day, having feelings for someone and the person genuinely feeling the same way about you. In fact, it happens only once in a lifetime (I made that up though). This was why, when Tobi met Tosin to tell her how he felt about her and that he wanted them to date, she said yes before he was done talking. She had been dating him months earlier without his knowledge. Few weeks after the relationship proceeded from Tosin’s dream to the physical, Tosin was more in love than she thought she was capable of. It was all too good to be true. Something had to be wrong. So when Tobi started asking for the cookie, she feared that might just be what it was all about; sex.
Even though I made that up (again), a lot of us are or have been in this situation. Whether it’s someone you just met or someone you’ve known for a while and may even be dating, if you are thinking, ‘is it just for the sex or does he truly care about me as he says?’ or if you are deliberating; ‘I do it, I do it not, I do it, I do it not…’, hold your peace and let us deliberate for you. With these 5 signs, you’d hear us whisper to you, ‘sister, all he wants is sex! Run!’ or ‘Fear not. This one is real. It’s not about the sex’.
Proceed my dear;
1. He Only Wants to Hang Out In Private Places
If when you guys want to spend some time together, all your Tobi thinks of are places that are private and you both can be alone and possibly have sex, that’s probably because sex is all he wants. What happened to the movies or a nice restaurant? Who does it always have to be in a hotel, his house or yours? Even when you guys go to a public place, if it always had to end up with him finding a way to make sure you both are alone and could do it, he’s with you for the cookie.
2. He’s Emotionally unavailable
Emotions are the soul of every relationship there it. Beyond your partner’s looks and personality, that you both can emotionally connect is what truly makes everything beautiful and gives you affair a name, a face, an aura, a signature. It defines everything. It’s a deep level of intimacy.
If it feels like he shut himself up and you can’t get enough and want so much more, but he doesn’t hold back when it comes to tearing off your cloths and taking you from behind, that’s probably because that’s all he is there for. If he’s not fulfilling your emotional needs and isn’t even trying, he might just be interested in the sexual needs alone.
3. He can’t stop talking about your body
It’s always about your curves and edges. There’s barely any mention of how you have a beautiful personality or how conversations with you are intellectually awakening. That does not exist. If it’s not about how beautiful your butt is and how perky your boobs are, it’s how the thought of the way your ass wobbles is making him lose his mind.
Don’t be flattered if all he talks about is your body and things he wants to do to you. It all goes to show that is what it’s all about. You might as well be a booty call.
4. He’s never there when you need him
You can barely get a hold of your Tobi when you need him and it’s not for something sex related? There’s almost no clearer sign that’s all about that body baby. You aren’t feeling so great and needs someone to talk to but he’s either not there or isn’t taking is seriously? You need support or something that he should ordinarily be there for you but he all of a sudden goes MIA? There’s almost no clearer sign that it’s all about that body baby.
5. He doesn’t see you
If a person has no interest in you, you’d know this. The signs would be there. Well unless they are great actors and already have their names on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
He doesn’t ask about or care about your job, education or whatever it is going on in your life, he doesn’t know what you are up to or important things about you, he doesn’t know what kind of things you like or dislike after spending so much time together, he doesn’t truly know you, he obviously has no real interest in you. It has to be just about the cookie.
6. You say no sex and he’s making a big fuss about it
Try this. Tell him you guys won’t be having sex for a particular period of time (a period longer than the time you guys stay without sex) or if you guys haven’t done it already, tell him there won’t be any sex and see what he says.
His reaction will tell you all you need to know. If he is unhappy for a while but finally lets go, no biggie. If he makes a mighty fuss and generally acts like his life support has been removed, you have to direct him to a whore house. All he wants is sex.
Note, all he wants could be sex and he can still handle this part well. By this I mean he could happily agree to wait even though all he wants is sex.
7. You say no sex and he doesn’t bother to spend time with you
If you say no sex and he doesn’t bother spending time with you and if he does, it’s not as often as usual, you don’t need a prophet to tell you why but I’ll be a prophet for you baby. All man wants is to fuck! Since he isn’t getting it, what’s the point meeting?
Would you spend hours riding to a filling station that has no fuel with the aim of buying fuel? No? Just like you, he has sense too!
8. It’s all about sex
All you guys do is have sex. There’s not place or style you both haven’t tried. Well except cutting your sexual organs open and surgically joining them together.
If all you do it have sex then that’s what it’s all about to him and probably to you too.
9. He doesn’t take you seriously
He takes you with a pinch of salt and has no regard for you, he misses your calls, calls back at his own time and doesn’t bother to explain why he doesn’t let you in on important things in his life, he doesn’t bother to introduce you to his friends, family or important people to him when you see them, your opinions don’t matter, etcetera. If he behaves like this toward you, then it’s because he doesn’t take you seriously. If he doesn’t take you seriously, then it’s because he doesn’t care about you and if he doesn’t care about you, what does he care about? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
10. Your instincts say so
More often than not, our instincts point us to the right direction. If your instincts tell you all he wants is sex, find out if he does any of the things in this list and if he does, your instincts are most probably right.
Note, if you both agreed that what you have is only sexual, then you have no need to worry but if you want something more than sex and all he wants is sex (you’ll know after you’ve read this), you have all the needs to worry.
Chisimdi blogs at www.chisimdi.com.