So earlier today at work, my curiosity got the better part of me and I asked my opinionated female colleagues how they really feel about blow jobs and the answers came pouring – uninhibited.
Among the five of us, we were able to come up with a thousand reasons why blow jobs aren’t that fun. Thing is, half the time when we’re down there, moaning and pretending we are enjoying you ramming in and out of our pretty little mouths, we really can’t wait to get it done with and here’s why:
Some men taste weird!
And weird isn’t a good taste. Honestly!
My jaws hurt!
Ello sir, can you do and cum please. We’ve been at this for a lifetime and I’m not sure I can take it anymore.
Shoving it down my throat.
I know you don’t get it but my throat isn’t that elastic. Ever shoved a whole cucumber down your throat? God forbid? Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel.
I know you’ve been watching too much porn but this is real life hun and all that saliva is plain disgusting.
Don’t shoot in my mouth!
I mean it, don’t! Or at least give me a heads-up before you do.
Don’t touch my hair!
Let me be. I can do good all by myself. When you grab my hair like that, I’m tempted to clamp down on your joystick.
Why so unexpressive?
I’m putting in a lifetime’s work down here bro. If you’re going to stand there looking like you’re cleaning your ears then you might as well grab a cotton bud.
And the ones that won’t kiss us at the end of the ordeal. What you doing bro? Think I like the taste of your cum any better than you do?