Five Things To Consider Before Cohabiting With Your Partner

Cohabitation in the literal sense of it means to live together with a partner like you’re a married couple. This live in conditions usually lead to sexual relationships between the partners involved.

Experts have revealed that cohabiting with your partner doesn’t increase the chances of marriage, despite popular belief. A study by Patrick Ishizuka, a postdoctoral fellow at the Cornell Population Center until 2019, suggests that half of the couples who cohabit end up breaking it off: 1,121 couples dissolved, while 1,104 went on to get married. Between 1996 to 2008, the odds of getting married declined by 28%.

As glaring as these statistics are, Pew Research Trust research found that 9.2% of Millennial couples are still cohabitating, increasing by 59% since 1997.

In Nigeria, it is not encouraged regardless of the positive or negative statistics. Our cultures and religions do not permit partners to cohabit unless they are married. Despite this, some partners still engage in it.

These fears and principles are understandable because as much as cohabiting is considered the next step in most millennial relationships, it can end horribly. However, there are cases where it works, but specific things need to be considered. Here are a few things to consider before cohabiting with your partner.

1. Discuss your expectations for each other

As much as you think you know your partner and what they expect of you, discussing the terms of living and what they hope you can take care of while living together is essential.

Discussing this doesn’t only save you from constant disputes, but it also helps you know whether their values indeed matches yours. You both should manage your expectations.

2. Know about your partner’s goals for your relationship

Cohabiting with your partner does not guarantee marriage. You can cohabit for ten years, and they will still not want to settle down with you for various reasons.

Ask and understand what your partner’s goals for your relationship are. Are they just looking to have a live-in girlfriend or a wife? The decision is solely dependent on what you want because you might also not want to get married.

3. Ascertain why you’re moving in together

Moving in with your partner comes with responsibilities and can be a bad experience if both partners do it for the wrong reasons. Moving in together should not be because you’re constantly at his house every time anyway; there should be deeper reasons.

4. Discuss who will pay the bills

Money might not look like a problem initially, but as time goes on, one will start feeling somewhat cheated if they are to foot 90% of the bill.

Do you want to split the payment for essentials in the house, or is one partner willing to foot the bill in the relationship? All these discussions need to be had.

5. Have a backup plan

Always have a backup plan. What if your relationship ends with this person? Do you have a plan? Do you have enough funds saved to move into a new house and pick yourself up?

Think about your options and create a plan that works if the worst happens.

Without considering these factors, it is not advisable to move in with your partner. Emotional damage, stress and a lot can stem from cohabiting if specific rules are not laid down, and discussions are not had.