How To Communicate Your Sexual Desires To Your Partner

We all have sexual fantasies, needs and desires that we wish to be fulfilled. However, our partners are usually unaware of these desires, so they might go largely unfulfilled. The key to unlocking your sexual fantasies apart from taking your happiness in your own hands is effectively communicating with your partner.

Communicating what you want in bed is very important in improving your sexual wellness and maintaining a long, healthy sex life with your partner. However, people avoid talking to their partners about their sexual desires because they fear embarrassment and/or rejection. Sometimes they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings.

Whatever your reason is, it’s so important for you and your partner to speak up about the things you want to experience and to make ‘sex talk’ a regular part of your relationship.

Be sure of what you want: Before you raise your concerns to your partner, be sure of what you actually want. Do not assume that just because someone on the internet claims it is good, then it will work for you. Do your research, understand how your body works and know what works for your body. However, there is no crime in being adventurous, trying something new.
Discuss your fantasies: Tell your partner what you want. Be very explicit, your partner is not a mind reader. Bring it up in random conversations, allude to it. If you’re not about verbally saying these things start with sexting. Send reference pictures, tweets and videos if you have to. Do not be ashamed about your fantasies. You are more normal than you think you are. Sharing your fantasies is an easy way to introduce novelty into your sex life. Sometimes simply expressing them may be arousing enough and set the ball rolling.
Be positive and encouraging: When you share your thoughts, do not be overly critical. Raise something you like and follow up with something you want to try out. “I like it when you…. but I would also like it if we can try… Ask your partner about their fantasies. Tell them how you’ve been thinking about them in a certain position or doing some things to you how much that turns you on.! It is also important to give your partner time to digest your suggestions and take time to consider their reservations.
Be open-minded: Remember, your partner is human too, and they might be uncomfortable with some of your new ideas. When sharing your ideas, understand their personalities. Let your partner know that discussing your sex life is about the two of you and your relationship. It’s a two-way street, just like every other relationship discussion.
Timing: Be careful with where and when you choose to discuss your sexual desires. Your bedroom is a no-no. Bringing it up before you have sex will put a lot of pressure on your partner and affect their libido. Discussing it after you just had sex is also wrong and will seem insensitive to your partner. They would feel that you are telling them they are unskilled in the art of lovemaking.

Most importantly, ensure that anything you choose to engage in is safe.