5 Things Abusive Partners Do To Silence You From Seeking Help

Abuse takes place in stages. It’s a process that can lead to the worst if not properly observed or if taken for granted.

Every abusive partner has a pattern and traits that point to the fact that they are prone to lose their fuse and physically hurt you at the slightest chance.

According to the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT), in 2021, the agency dealt with 2,584 domestic and sexual violence cases for adults; women accounted for 2,349 of the cases.

Silence is what encourages and ensures that an abusive person thrives in their parasitic relationship. They try to ensure that you have no one around you to ask for help so they can thrive.

Here are five things an abusive partner can do to silence you from seeking help

1. They Cut You Off From Friends and Family
Family and friends are essential support systems you must always have. The first thing an abusive partner does is take that away from you. Ensure that you do not cut off your friends and family regardless of your partner’s opinion.

2. They Are Apologetic After Their Action
They are always sorry after hitting you, but are they sorry two days later? It starts from little things like them demeaning your work and you as a person. It then graduates to the partner getting physical. The first time might be a mistake; the second time isn’t. Run!

3. They Always Promise To Change
Abusive partners are mostly born out of trauma they experienced growing up, but it’s not your place to change them. The door of change is within, and no one can change anybody unless they want to be changed. Do not volunteer to fix an abusive partner; leave first and let them work on themselves.

4. They Make You Hate or Lose Trust in Everyone Except Them
Once your partner starts finding reasons for all your family and friends to not be around you, they have become a problem. Even when the relationship ends, your family and friends are your support system; never leave your family and friends because of your partner’s manipulation.

5. They Want You To See Them As Your Lord, Only Helper and Confidant
Abusive partners always feel the need to want to control their partners. With this need comes them segregating you from the society, most importantly family and friends, that way, they lower a person’s self-worth enough for them to feel like they have nowhere else to go. They establish themselves and make their partner feel like they are the Lord of their lives and the only ones who can help them.

If your partner shows any of these signs or has these behavioural patterns, they are abusive. It’s not until they hit you that you need confirmation to run from such a relationship. It is also important to note that the abusive partner can be male or female.